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Six Sneaky Ways to Get Him Jazzed About Wedding Menu Cards
You know how people say that guys hate weddings? It isn't true. Grooms love weddings. They just tend to love them retroactively. Ask any groom to look back on his big day and he'll tell you he's still amazed at how perfectly it all came together. That said, the mere mention of wedding planning will still send most men running for the hills (or at least the Wii remote). Sometimes it's your feverish energy - or the, um, mild undercurrent tension - that keeps him at arm's length. Or he simply can't be convinced that choosing ceremony readings has greater value in the grand scheme than preparing for his fantasy football draft. To give yourself perspective, consider this: You've been dreaming of this day since you were eight. Your fiance probably started thinking about it right after you said "Yes!" But don't panic - there are plenty of ways to engage hm before the big day.
EMBED TASKS
Help him warm to the process by placing it in a positive context. My fiancee called my best man and offered to treat us to an upcoming ballgame. Ten she sneaked in the idea that it would be great if we could get measured for our tuxedos on the way to the ballpark - turning an otherwise annoying chore into part of a memorable day of male bonding. Brilliant.
START SIMPLE
All guys prefer short, specific instructions and get frustrated when multiple tasks or unclear directives are thrown their way. "My fiancee gave me small jobs first, then gradually increased them," says Even, 29. "First it was stuff she knew I'd enjoy, like choosing the bar's stock list. When she started adding extra things - confirming the venue, booking our honeymoon flights - I already felt invested and didn't mind."
INTRODUCE COMPETITION
Men are indifferent toward a project only until it involves the chance to declare victory over someone else. "Jen played to my competitive instincts," says Justin, 33. "She'd never say anything like 'Have you gotten the limo yet?' Instead she'd drop little asides, like 'You know, Caroline's husband booked their Escalade four months before their wedding.' She knew it would get me in gear every time.
MOTIVATE HIM
Bribes are perfectly acceptable. Proven options include golf accessories and blatant sexual favors. Says Dan, 27, "My fiancee got me a new gadget from Home Depot every time I crossed something off my list. By the time we got married, I had an amazing toolbox."
ZIP YOUR LIPS
Metrosexuals notwithstanding, most of us still feel the need to maintain a certain macho image. By promising you won't leak the fact that he had a hand in the wedding planning, you'll be more likely to enlist his willing assistance. "I struck a deal with Tracy early on," says Brandon, 33. "I'd help with anything she wanted as long as we agreed to tell people she did it all."
PLAY UP THE FUN
Guys live for games and contests. Ideally, they involve balls or other projectiles, but they don't have to. When my buddy Greg, 29, found out he could select registry items online without setting foot in a store, he happily disappeared behind his laptop for hours. Of course, when he and his fiancee finally got to the store to make follow-up choices, she practically had to pry the electronic gun out of his hand. One should never underestimate a man's love of shooting stuff.
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